I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
