i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Drunk is not a location!
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
