New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
