i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
