At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
