so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
