Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
