I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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