break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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