I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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