I want to make a zoo with you.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
