My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
