my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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