if i can run in heels then i can drive
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
