My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
