member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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