Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
