haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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