well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
do herpes really smell.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
