i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Randomize