At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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