you're like a bully in the Christmas story
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
