You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Randomize
