I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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