Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
