I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
