bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
