textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
