Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
