Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
