I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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