This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
