then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
