Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
