the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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