just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
