why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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