Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
