How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
