Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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