I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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