Moan for me like Helen Keller
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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