I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
