the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
