You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
