like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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