Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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