How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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