We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
