We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
