she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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