Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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