Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I understand Curling. That high.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
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Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
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We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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