I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
