just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I checked into jail on foursquare
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
