Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize